Antonio Bullen

2002
Feb

28

Waiting and Cheating

By Antonio Bullen
Posted at 12:46 am
Filed under: In Love, Sex and Tears, Life Journal, Tracy, Travels

I think about all the things that I have done in the past two years and I can’t say I regret them. I’ve lived, and I’ve learned, I’ve gained experiences and I have survived it all. I really miss Tracy, and I love her very much. I have been involved with other women since the last time I saw her but not one I’ve cared for the way I do for Tracy.

The problem is, I don’t think she really loves although she says so. I think that what she really loves is the way I treat her. Maybe that’s also what I love from her. I’m getting really tired of everything. I need to find something or someone that can make me feel the way I used to feel not so long ago.

I’m tired of Panama, there’s nothing new for me here. Nothing that I haven’t seen that I want to see or go to. I wish I had money to travel all around the globe and never have to worry about visas or taxes or money. I believe all of these problems can be fixed if I first take care of my U.S. immigrant status. It’s not so much that I have to take care of it, I’ve already done what has to be done. It’s about waiting for it to happen which I have been doing all this time and don’t think I can do for much longer.

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Antonio Antonio and Anahi Antonio at The Office, Cabo San Lucas Anahi, Antonio, Felipe and Susie Enjoying some cold Coronas Antonio and Ned Antonio at a Coffee Bar Antonio, Anahi, Susie and Ned


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    • 2 Comments
    1. Antonio Bullen said on September 13th, 2008:

      It was less than three months later when I finally got the chance to immigrate to the United States.

      It’s interesting to me that everything I said on this note on my journal about what I wanted to do and my relationship with Tracy I still feel. I think it is so because I was being honest with myself. I’m learning that in relationships, being able to act honestly is the best thing… even when it hurts.

    2. Antonio Bullen » Still The Same, Nothing Has Changed said on November 29th, 2008:

      [...] ever read the comment I posted a few days later on What Goes Around Does Come Around or the post on Waiting and Cheating. All there is to this whole thing is that because of my relationship with her I’ve become a [...]

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