I feel disconnected. As if I look at the people in this world and pretend to really be a part of everything that is happening. Not because I’m better, but because of the way I developed into what I am today. People were generally not a factor of my life. Touch, was not a factor. Smiles and the word “love” were not a factor. This is why I feel disconnected and underdeveloped when it comes to human interaction.
I don’t know how much people can see, if they pay that much attention to me, but I know its there.
My smile is fake, a hug is still uncomfortable. It is as if every breath I take was thought of. I crave attention, just like a child. Maybe that’s the true reason for everything I write. I’m just trying to get better. Maybe one day I will feel normal. I think I will.
